Monday, April 1, 2013


Hello friends. Have you had nice bank holidays? I did practically nothing, I went to Waitrose and blew all my Observer money (apt) on Friday, spent sat and sun with respective families, and then today.... today I did something quite disturbing. I made this: (that's not my hand.)

No, it's not food colouring, it's avocado. Beetroot chocolate cake with Avocado icing, if I'm totally honest. I know right, it sounds gross and vegan but I pinky swear I put like three eggs in there, it was for my gluten/dairy-free flatmate George's birthday, isn't it the best looking cake colour combo of all time?? It actually tasted really good, only like 25% like soil.

Oh yeah, so today I'm on twitter reading every single one of Emily Weiss's tweets ever (remember her? the "super intern from New York" in The Hills season 2) when I see a tweet from this magazine, who will remain unnamed just because who knows they might offer me 5k to discuss elle fanning's menstrual cycle next week or something. Anyway so this magazine is apparently encouraging teenagers and students to use what little basically non-existent spending money they have on tickets to attend a fashion seminar, which is going to teach you all about working in "FASHION". All that says to me is that they're going to teach you how to be a rich, stupid, dedicated intern, because there are no other "jobs" which span the whole industry, just a heads up. Anyway, as somebody who has amazingly earned money from writing about fashion for the last, IDK 3 years or something, I think there's a bit more to share, here's a hint, it's all free and it's all totally easy. Buy me a coffee some time.

If you love fashion but you don't even know if you love clothes or images or just a mood, or a photographer or PR or cocaine (those two go together, or three, even) or writing or any of those or none of those, or you just love crazy weave. Or you don't love anything at all and you need a way to channel your angst (sexy) all you can do is work out what you don't like. Schedule as many week long internships or placements as you can work around your schedule during a low time at work/school or if you're on holiday for a while somewhere. I know, everyone says you need to stick at something to work out whether you like it, but from personal experience? You know when you don't like something, you know after 2 hours. You do. I've never really liked any of my internships which is why now I know that I'm happiest in bed with a laptop writing stuff about pictures of things. That's actually pretty useful to know.

Also watch loads of youtube videos of frightening successful people and try to induce panic attacks, so if you ever meet/work with them, you've totally been there and done that already. How fashionable. Basically, don't be afraid to hate stuff and panic. That is literally all I do. Oh and try to eat lots of raw food, I think it does wonders for your life span, which will help when all those frantic cigarettes catch up with you, know what I mean?

All my love, as always.

Here is a picture of my legs I took when I was drunk last week. Great vodka, Absolut – I barely even vomited at work the next day. 


  1. 1. Anytime I ever read ITG or hear word about Emily Weiss, I think back to her short-lived days on the Hills. If I ever met that broad, it would probably be the first thing I would ask her about.
    2. The fashion seminars that have sprouted about the last few years make me queasy.
    3. I'm glad someone else shares my love for in comfy in-bed writing and nesting. (Currently writing this clad in bathrobe+furry socks, under two blankets.) I've always said sloths are my spirit animal and I'm sticking to that.

  2. I feel like this picture was taken while sitting on the toilet which makes me love it because then that means you took your vodka to the toilet too and I admire that dedication to strong drank and blogging. This made sense in my head.

  3. hi bert! if you were going to PROM what would you wear... i sort of need some help!! xx


  5. You are actually the best person ever.

  6. Oh God! You are a big figure, you know that, don't you?