New Friend.

Absolutely everything by Charles Anastase. I am very excited right now. Maybe because I haven't seen any price tags yet. Literally every single thing I've seen has been incredible. GO SEE HERE !

Pamela.

I will own both of these at some point in my life. End of post. Ok not quite, they are new season Pamela Love. Now I have to get on the tube- LAME.

 

This is what Dreams are made of.

On Thursday night I went to meet F at the Saatchi preview or whatever so I could pretend to understand art while quaffing bubbly like a hot puppy. As she approached complete in leather jacket and silky silky hair I noticed her feet were glinting... Ever curious I peered in closer... closer... Until I found myself consumed with such a strong jealous rage that I threw my champagne all over a nearby artwork and screeched bloody murder! Ok slight extension of the truth. Very slight mind. It was indeed the ACNE wedge, pattering along like it didn't know exactly how much of an effect it was having on me. So I did the only thing I could think to do; I waited until F was tipsy at the afterparty and then I swooped in and stuck my foot in, and no it didn't really fit, and yes I had to remove a sock which I tossed carelessly onto the table at a swish Sloane Square members club but goddammit I got it on! And it was worth every beautiful second!
P.S You can see the beginning of the floral dungarees I decided to wear in a last minute 90's teen mom moment. I was literally the only person in the gallery not wearing something black, or even smart for that matter. Note to self: Gallery owners never watched Clarissa Explains It All.

Holloway.

Last week I did a shoot for the Vice fashion blog for one of my real favourite friends Sam. These Manish Arora trousers were my most coveted item but they were such a weird fit me and Marley have definitely ended up with bulky-calf issues and I really thought they would split down the back. Fortunately for me, and my bank balance, and Sam, they didn't. Our hair and make-up was some sort of testament to peodophile chic or something equally absurd, I wasn't really listening at that point I was quite distracted by some incredibly velvety american pancakes. Anyway my horse jumper got used which was exciting! Small town horse in the big city, one day he'll be a star. I'll post some of the pictures when they're online. Til then, here are some crap blackberry snaps to make do.

Back From Beyond.

So I got a bit ill and spent some time in the country starting a new book (the early journals of Elizabeth Smart) and generally sleeping an awful lot. I came across a variety of interesting things including a very intense book of poetry from the 70's called "For Black Girls Who Are Considering Suicide" and actually the most gigantic onion I've ever seen. It is worth documenting the photographic evidence, simply for my own pleasure. Basically it was bloody huge. I am also posting a nice photo of my grandma in the reeboks I gave her for christmas, next to my undeniably shabbier pair. The SHAME. On a rather tangential note, my book is brilliant, Elizabeth Smart and I would have been great friends. She intersperses beautiful descriptions of Sweden/Canada/London and the struggle to identify her own voice while reading Woolf and Mansfield with things like "I found a long black hair in my scrambled egg today" and "My neck is dirty.". My neck is always dirty. I don't know if that's appropriate blog talk but it's true. Sooo. Bye!

Lucky.

Moni Haworth took some pictures of me and Billie for her AWESOME BLOG. Moni is a very cool grown-up. Like the sort of grown-up you are so sure at 14 that you'll be and then as you get older you realise that actually you can't wear hotpants anymore and you'll probably just become embittered and sour like everybody else. Moni can still wear hotpants and talks about genital herpes as "WEIRD and GROSS"; the only give away is that she smokes Silk-Cut and drives a vintage merc. Smoooooth.

Love.

And another thing, a satchel from the Hobbs NW3 which I posted about earlier managed to find its way to me via a birthday pressie. It is amazing. I've had more compliments on this that perhaps any other item (except the boots but don't get me started because I will talk about them all day). People just seem to dig leather goods and I am certainly included in that category. Daniel has asked at least twice if it would look okay for a man to wear the satchel, to which I obviously replied "Perhaps sweetpea but probably not" ("NO WAY SCUMBAG - HANDS OFF"). And has declared it as his favourite piece in my wardrobe. Excuse the poor quality pic which is not the fault of Francesca's iphone but instead my bloody awful internet. Also the deranged expression, I don't look like that exclusively, only 70% of the time...

$$$

So I've just heard that my flatmate is moving out and leaving me with the dilemma to up sticks to Hampstead or audition other potential victims. Boring. My boyfriend hates me because I’m a horrible person (can I complain about that?) And just, oh I don’t know, loads of other stuff. LOADS. OKAY?!?! Not a good day. Plus I watched Antichrist at the weekend and now I am terrified, t-e-r-r-i-f-i-e-d, that I’m going to wake up tomorrow and become evil and hateful of all mankind. Anyway, time for some positive thoughts, aka JEWELLERY. “Groundbreaking Bert…” I hear you smirk “but we can’t all pop into Kabiri when we’re feeling rough” Listen critics, I am not referring to super expensive dolla dolla dolla jewellery, instead I will show you some rather good examples of my COUGH affordable COUGH favourites.   

A friend bought me the Eagle (top) from Zoe Morgan for about £70 for my 18th birthday and I still wear it pretty much every day. It looks like what would happen if a Hells Angel and a ballerina designed a collaborative jewellery collection. Zoe Morgan used to come into the cake shop I worked in last year with her equally tall and divine sister and less tall but also divine baby. When the tail snapped off my eagle she took it and fixed it fo' free' ! It was all free coffee and free love every day. RESULT. 
The ferret ring is Pamela Love, who I'm sure by now you're sick to death of reading artsy articles about, but to be fair she is the best. I think it was £80, all the gold plating is rubbing off around the edges but what's a girl to do. Anyway silver and gold jewellery is obviously super edgy and on trend. Obviously. 

The Vivienne Westwood was in the sale, I SWEAR I got it for £40 but I think I made that lie up to impress somebody and have ended up convincing myself. Not a good sign. Probably more like £70-90. I want a tiny multicoloured one to wear on my little finger to match with it. DAMN. The skull is Marc by Marc Jacobs mens, I bought it in NY for $40 (seriously this time) purely because the sales assistant was 2 hot 2 handle and he kept shouting things like SUPER AWESOME RIGHT?! at me which made my knees quite weak and definitely swayed my judgement. Good tactic you've got there Marc. It is nice though, and the jaw moves up and down a bit which keeps me entertained for ages during lectures. The Eagle ring in the last picture is probably my best ring. It was a gift but comes from a guy with a stall on a corner of Place des Vosges in Le Marais in where else but belle Paree. There are loads and they're all  5 euros. Check it. Uh. Anyway it's late and I feel distinctly cheered up enough to go and tackle the entire New York vanilla cheesecake in my fridge. Wish me luck with the cheese-induced Antichrist nightmares. Peace.

I really should be doing my essay...

2000 words by tomorrow. Haven't started? Probably should re-read Room Of One's Own, The Second Sex AND Frankenstein. Definitely can't now. What is wrong with me, I can't stop looking at this bag from Claire Inc. WORK BERTIE.

Everything You Touch.

    
       So I got given these insane new platforms from where else but Topshop Boutique (small shoe-shop rut emerging here?) which look like a wet dream of the mom in Matilda and I'm trying to think what I can possibly wear them with. They are kind of amazing, I just went on the Topshop website to check them out in their glamour shots like a proud parent and they are sold out in every size. Plus the blogosphere is going mad for them. I have to say most of the aforementioned blogs do look just the wrong side of eurotrash glam-funk but all press is good press yeah? For the past few days I've been blinded by the trippy love only possible between girl + shoe, I've been wearing them to do my laundry, watch tv etc. However now comes the time to man up and get serious. These are the crucial days which will determine whether these shoes become a friend for life or indeed another gleaming and unworn weapon with which I will be denied further shoe purchases by my conscience. Or more likely by my credit card. (@all-of-bertie's-unworn-shoes Obviously all shoes are friends for life. No hard feelings yellow Doc Martens at the back of my closet. Love you dearly.. Promise..). I've tried them sort of grunge and it worked quite well surprisingly. In fact most things look good with them because they give me the physique of a 12 year old 6ft Russian girl with an eating disorder (GOOD). What they would look really really perfect with would be some sort of Heathers-esque plaid skirt suit but I just can't seem to find one anywhere. I'm keeping my eyes peeled. And my ankles steady.

 

WLTM

Lonely Hearts is a brand just emerging from New Zealand. Check out the website HERE. Images via StuddedHearts. First of all I know you're probably thinking "WOW these guys totally ripped Chloe Sevigny's look, and found a model that looks exactly like her! WTF BERT ?!?!" Well put your concerns aside for the moment please (just ignore that bit Grandma).While yes ok it is arguably quite predictable and unremarkable, actually the seperate pieces look adaptable and interesting. These are the sort of clothes you can rely on when everything else in your closet has let you down (dress too frilly, leggings too blah.. you know). They're basic, flattering and good quality, sort of the material equivalent of porridge? No that just sounds hideous. Maybe a croissant.. I'll probably stop with the food references now but I'm sure the point has been made. The grey trousers are also sort of perfect aren't they? And the shoes are just RAD. But I really think I need to calm down a bit with this whole shoe thing, it's getting slightly out of hand.

Hunters and Jumpers.

Literally DEFINITELY the best jumper I've ever owned. JC De Castelbajac is a genius. xoxo to F for this.

Please ignore my Napoleon Dynamite mouth. I just read Story of My Life by Jay Mcinerney, it was rad, Alison Poole would totally freak for this jumper. It's interesting to see how much his style of writing has influenced people blogging at the moment. But interesting in a good way, I like it. Lots.
"I don't know, these downtown artsy coifs may get attention, but not necessarily the right kind. I don't think most guys are too keen on running their fingers through a fashion statement."

ROUND THE BEND.

Hello hello. Wowee that was a busy couple of weeks; Christmas/New Years/Birthday. So much to share. I have been to France and seen things which I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams. I am now 20 (!). And I have managed to accumulate a variety of seriously beautiful things. Feeling good! Apart from the blocked up nose/wheeze/headache that I picked up along the way. Still, Saturday in bed, can't be all bad. Let's go.