BETTER ONES

:-) Meadham X Kirkwood <3

These are quite tasty

Not sure about the cut-out though. It'S JUST NOT PRACTICAL. $184.95 From Jeffrey Campbell (who I detest).

SCORE A DATE FOR "VALENTINES DAY" PT 2.

So you've probably bagged your man by this point, I hope you got a good one. Now it's time to start prepping, sure Valentines day isn't for over two weeks but according to the BBC even 16 year old's should get bikini waxes so imagine the amount of preparation WE're going to need! You can begin with a full body detox a la Victoria's Secret. 10 days before the big date, throw away all solid food in your house and snip up your credit card (no cheating gurls!). You can be certain that over the course of the next week and a half you will drop pounds! And your abs will be toned to perfection from all the dry heaving. Secondly, no self respecting man would be seen dead with a girl who doesn't have long luscious Lana Del hair, and who isn't wearing tiny torn up denim shorts and who hasn't oiled their legs. SO. Pop down to your market of choice and pick up some nice real hair extensions, some scissors and a big bottle of baby oil (take this with you on your date and you are guaranteed to pull!). Glue the hair to your scalp, don't worry if it's bumpy bumps add volume and make your eyes look bigger and more blue, snip some jeans off about 0.3cm from the join, and fill your bathtub with oil. Now it's up to you whether you douse your new hair in the oil, I personally like that Xxxtina Dirrty edge when dating, but if you're nervous about coming across too confident and stylish then just leave this part out.

Finally put your shorts on a hot wash, throw them in the tumble dryer for a couple of hours, slide them on over the oil and go claim your man!

+

THE MUSHPIT X ASOS

We're featured in the March issue of the ASOS magazine! How cool is THAT. Check out the article here, skip to page 50 xx Also I just found this video of the ASOS shoot I did ages ago, LOOK4ME ;-))

I TOTALLY WOOD

Also how hot (comfy) is this brown cord suit from Wood Wood. And it's reduced to like nothing in the sale. Really having to control myself right now. No. More. Internet. Shopping. Get it HERE and HERE. But if you do, I will hate you. Check out their latest collection below. Hot models. Unforgivable shoes.

Wood Wood AW12 - The Kingdom from Theis Mortensen on Vimeo.

CHEAP THRILLS

Some cheap and probably very badly made things that I like at the moment. How is it that cheap things somehow manage to be just as overpriced as really expensive things? This stuff is made of like, plasticine, it should be under a tenner. (Beware, this model has a REALLY hairy face. Like really hairy..)

Earring $14

Platforms £45

MY NEW HAT!

It's from the Zara sale and it was £6.99 HOW SHALL I WEAR IT?!

ALSO

THIS BLOG is hilarious, their piece about Chloe Green just made me splutter Berocca all down my front:

"The whole green sole thing too- I mean come on. I’m sure Louboutin is quaking in his perfectly formed brogues at the very sound of her green trotters slamming around Topshop Oxford Street"

And great tips for shopping in Topshop, my favourite as you all know:

"A really fun thing to do with the Topshop website at the moment (if you’re as lonely as me) is to see how many trends they’ve packed into one unbelievable, highly flammable item. You can purchase a fringed, studded, acid wash crop top, embellished with crucifixes and it will conveniently have your favourite band that you’ve never listened to stamped on the front! yay!"

TESSA METCALFE

So Tessa very kindly lent me and Charlotte some of her beautiful rings and I thought I'd share them with you guys. They are really special but still totally affordable which is really refreshing for jewellery. You could totally buy them as gifts without breaking the bank and ensure your friends will love you forever. Also given the bendable shape, you can't buy the wrong size. Bonus. For any boys reading (hey boys) if you're freaking out about Valentines day these are fail-safe, and you won't have to stoop to "I LOVE YOU. I INTENTIONALLY DIDN'T GET YOU A GIFT". Thank me later. x

SHOP TESSA METCALFE

 

MUSHPIT 2 VALENTINES DAY LAUNCH PARTY!

CLICK 4 DETAILS! <3 <3

I'VE BEEN LOVING YOU

So I bought this amazing 1970's Joseph skirt suit thing off ebay for like 12 bucks and it is seriously Al Green. Like he would probably wear this with some matching trousers and a roll neck. Regardless I'm so smitten, but I can't decide whether I prefer the top tucked in or loose. What do you guys think? I'm wearing it with a Zara coat, some DM boots and a whispering eye necklace. xx

Rings and Daisy nails!

FASH Q + A

I got asked a question by a lovely anonymous (hello anonymous who are you) and I thought I might make a post out of it in case anyone else is having similar 'party dress dilemmas'. Story of my life...

I'm going to a friends posh bday party soon and need some amazing dress, but will have to be from a standard high st shop as dont have time to look for something second hand. any ideas ???

This one's pretty formal but you could witch it up with some high black boots and bare make-up and a heavy dark lip - Zara 89.99

Weirdly maybe I'm really into this and it's SO CHEAP. You could make it super grungy, wear it with boots and loads of jewellery and glitter. I mean it could be horrid you'd have to find it in real life in the store before you bought it but BARGAIN if it's good right?! - Zara £19.99 in sale

Oh topshop forever ripping off young designers. But this one is pretty (very) meadham. Forget that horrible skinny belt and put it with fishnets and boots (do I ever recommend another type of shoe.. oops). Could be super nice! Topshop - £42.00

hope these are helpful! xxxx

SHHH

This is totally what I'm gonna wear to the Mushpit 2 launch on Valentines Day. But don't tell anyone I've planned my outfit this far in advance.. I'll never live it down. How ROMANTIC and MUSHY is it though!??! xxxxx What are YOU going to wear?

WITCHY SHOE LUSTY

ROCHAS booties via Sea of Shoes (weird blog). They remind me of Nancy's boots in The Craft when she scraped along the floor. Creep.

SCORE A DATE FOR "VALENTINES DAY" PT 1.

Target your guy and research his 'type'

If he's into guitar rock and underage girls: Be sure to always carry a half empty bottle of Smirnoff and some red lipstick to smear all over your face. Say things like "This glitter is remeniscent of my sparkling soul. But my soul is sullied with sin. I HATE YOU GLITTER" Then smear glitter all over yourself.

If he's into moody atmospheric facebook profile pictures and girls that wear flower garlands: Turn up at his house in a (totally sexy) wedding dress with mascara running down your face. If he freaks out, tell him it's an experiment about gender stereotypes and he failed. Blog about his #fail on your 'anonymous' feminist tumblr.

If he's got long hair, digs ketamine and is either a member of or LOVES Salem: Remember these guys don't have any qualms about punching a girl for a tab of acid so watch your step around this feisty Casanova. Invite him over under the pretense of a 2CB 'chill sesh' and then slip used tampons into his pockets, he'll be bowled over by your absolute fucking insanity.

If he's into streetwear inspired high fashion and super limited edition sneakers: Buy a big bag of skunk and ask him to come over and smoke it with you. Chances are despite his constant facebook statuses about 'grain' he'll pull a whitey because he can't actually handle anything "bare strong". Double win. You can hold his hair back while he pukes and he'll be totally embarrassed/in awe of you.

!i!....::::: r > o > M A N < c < e :::::....!i!

Only Built 4 Africa Lynx

Remember when blogs were still blogspots and people still wrote about stuff which wasn't like "LOOK AT ME WEARING A LIMITED EDITION BARBOUR ROFL KUTE". Well no me neither really, but this is what I imagine they were like. This blog will undoubtedly descend into GIFs of inanimate objects with blinking eyes that berate you from the front row of mediocre fashion shows but until he's seduced by fame, fortune and free Raybans enjoy the work of the guy who consistently dominates the Pub Quiz with his knowledge of Madonna videos, hiphop and obscure British politics. XX

THE BLOG IS HERE! CLICK!

SHOT MYSELF

Need to remember not to do anymore shoots where I can't pick the clothes. I had to wear coral shorts, a white 'lace' cropped shirt, and some ostrich wedges. Yes. I said ostrich wedges. AT LEAST I GOT TO WEAR THIS HAT. And Alex from Bleach did the hair which was rad. But yeah, I love hats. I also found this cool book which I used to cover my face while ASOS dug away at my soul through the medium of photography. Suck. Out.

KANGAROOS

I bought new rad shoes off ebay, they are C.L.U.M.P.Y. I'm wearing them with Zara leggings and a Tse jumper x

PAMELA (I) LOVE (YOU)

Oh my god Francesca gave me the double bar ring which I have wanted for YEARS and how incredibly beautiful is it! I feel like a bionic babe.

WATCH!

You will learn so much about yourself and others.

PIKTURE PERFEKT

So I've been reading a couple of these How To's on Refinery29 and sorry guys but can someone back me up when I say that is some BULL.SHIT. I'm upset by Refinery assuming I care about the amount of comments or likes my Facebook profile picture receives. I'm more upset by them encouraging me to make 'full use of the caption tab'. Literally. Again, like I give a shit. Obviously the only important thing about Facebook profile pictures is that people you aren't friends with can look at them and be like damn that gurl is cool/hot/intelligent/cool/has loads of cool friends. Who cares about people you know looking at your profile. THEY KNOW YOU. Sidetracked. Anyway a couple of years ago me and GFOTY did actually stumble across the perfect photo-face. Regardless of who takes this picture, you are going to look bitchin. It's useful to  have something in your hand (a cigarette) and someone out of shot who's just asked you a quite serious (but also totally sexy) question. Don't worry if you don't have any friends, me and Polly are no stranger to the whole "I'm talking because you're taking my photo but there's no one around" mumble. Forget Refinery's "Hey have you heard of this cool thing called Instagram" and "try using photoshop to even out your T-zone" tips on how to have the most boring picture ever, and follow this guide to PICTURE PERFECTION.

1. You need a friend who's kind of into photography. Basically what I'm saying is, you need a friend with a camera. Bombshell. But seriously, if you're venturing into Blackberry profile picture territory (not a bad thing) I'm afraid that's a whole different blog post for a whole different day.

2. You need to be out somewhere. Outside of your house. Leave your house, it's pretty crazy I know.

3. Get into the middle of the shot, face to just above your elbow works well. (your aspiring photographer M8 should be able to do this but you know it can't hurt to check.)

4. Crouch over a bit. Put your chin down. Thinking face. Sip your drink.

5. And just as they're about to take the picture.  Look up and TALK. Sometimes even "uhmmm" is enough. Just talk and look up. Like OH HEY YOU'RE TAKING MY PICTURE. You can even say that (if you're an unimaginative dumbass). Try and encourage an expression of "This is weird.... But sexy... Go away. Come back. My eyes are half open and aroused" on to your face. If you can't do it, practice with a handmirror. Get to know those lips.

6. Get ready for the HOT POLICE TO ARREST YOU.

MWAH

Joss did a super cute post about me HERE ! WHIRLED DOMINATION! xxxx

SWEAR

We shot the Swear lookbook today with all my favourite people. It was COLD. How amazing are these suede booties, I like to think I helped bring them into existence. x

RP JEWELLERY

IS AMAZING

POLL OF THE DAY

Don't you think this man is super sexy?

• YES
• 100% sex machine
• OMG do you know him?
• I wonder what he looks like when he wakes up in the morning. Probably sexy.

LUCKY ME LUCKY ME

So I had a very delicious birthday. We went to Meat Liquor which was... Meaty... It was like next level good. And then my meaty delicious boyfriend gave me this RIDICULOUS cake he made which was flourless and covered in ganache and had raspberries baked into it. It was so good that I hid it in a cupboard and am now eating it straight off the plate with a carving knife. I have to go to the library now, sob, but I have posted a picture of my full outfit from yesterday. DM shoes, Tse coat, Joseph jumper and this beautiful scarf Gabriel's mum gave me for christmas. Hello 2012 x

MY BIRTHDAY SUIT

OMG I'M OLD. I'm 22. I'M OLD. I'm wearing a Topshop stripy top with a secondhand collar, a M+S skirt from ebay and ummmm I still can't pick what shoes. Is this the beginning of the end?! &£)$%£$%)(*£$(*%$